Birthdays
by Absi B
Summary: Toothless dreamt they could grow old together, but only Hiccup knew the truth. As another year of his life passes him by, Hiccup thinks more and more about what precious little time he has left.
1. Destinies

**Welcome to my story. I hope you enjoy it, and please tell me what you think!**

* * *

I wake up to a beautiful sunrise, and I know that today is going to be a good day.

It _is_ my birthday, after all.

Opening my eyes further and taking in the scene, I see the sunrise streaking in through the skylight and reflecting from Toothless' scales; they look lustrous. I can see that he is still in a light slumber, but soon he will sense my alert state and wake also.

I only get a small window each morning to see him sleeping like this. His head rests regally on his front paws, tongue slightly lolling out of a toothless mouth. He's curled up tightly to fit onto his podium, his wings curled around him and his red prosthetic poking out from underneath. I can sense his light breathing, and see his eyes fluttering back and forth under the closed lids.

"Come on, bud. I know you're awake," I say. At this, Toothless stays still, pretending to doze.

"You're not fooling anyone. Come on; don't you want to go flying today?"

Still nothing. I sigh, and look down to begin to get out of bed and suddenly a big pink tongue is in my face, trying to lick me to death.

_Gotcha!_ Toothless says triumphantly, continuing to lick my face and torso. I'm now covered in dragon saliva, but it's happened so many times before I don't care anymore.

Besides, it's got healing properties. And it reminds me every day of the bond we share.

Toothless could have killed me a thousand times over in the time we've been together. But he's chosen not to. All the power that he wields, and he chooses not to use it on me.

My trust in him is complete. I would lay down my life for him.

But I think he would die for me long before that.

A nudge and a jab in the ribs brings me back to reality, where Toothless jumps off my bed and prances eagerly around the small room, sending papers fluttering from my desk and onto the floor, and knocking over my chair.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming. Let's go flying." I stretch and get myself up, but then Toothless decides that he doesn't want to let me on his back after all, and I have to chase him down the stairs and outside before admitting defeat.

"You win, Toothless," I yell up to Toothless, who is busy scrabbling for purchase on the roof of my house. My father's going to have to fix that again, I think absentmindedly, as some tiles come loose and fall to the floor, landing in the snow drift trying to run up the wall. It's a fine winter's morning, with the air crisp and clear, but bitterly cold.

I guess that's what I get for having my birthday in the middle of winter. But, it could be worse. Last year, I got snowed in and I was stuck in the house with my father for days. I've never felt more awkward in my life.

This year, I've got Toothless. He more than makes up for the snow.

While I stand, shivering in my thin green woollen shirt and flying gear, Toothless finally decides that he's had enough of destroying our roof, and he wants to fly.

_What are you waiting for? A written invitation?_ he says with a Toothless grin, standing proudly in front of me. I grin right back, and gracefully leap into the saddle and get my feet into the controls.

**T**

"Ready, bud?" Hiccup asks me, happiness evident in every syllable he speaks.

_Always_, I reply, spreading my wings and launching us into the cloudless sky.

**T**

What an upside down life I've had so far. I get shot down by Hiccup, who decides to spare me, helps me to fly again and defeat the Queen. I went from hating humans, to creating a bond stronger than any others I have ever had with one. I guess it was our natures that brought us together; why he took pity on me that day.

We're both outcasts, unwelcome in our respective species. We are intelligent and quick- witted. We are compassionate and caring.

But… there's one thing that doesn't match. Hiccup lacks conviction- sometimes he does not have the strength of body or mind to carry something through to the end. Take the day in the woods as an example. He didn't have the will to carry out the deed.

Of course, I'm glad I wasn't slain by him, but sometimes he needs to have confidence in his own thoughts and actions, and actually put them into practice. Sometimes he doesn't know the size of his genius.

I know being humble, and unwilling to step into the spotlight is usually considered quite selfless, but I know that Hiccup can do better than most people he knows, and yet he chooses not to. He chooses to be the follower to a person with inferior ideas.

Although I claim to know Hiccup inside out and back to front, this is the one part of his psyche that still vexes me. I just… don't understand. Why? Why can't he face up to his own brilliance?

I am, in my opinion, the complete antithesis of this. I will do anything, anything, and I will always give it my all and I will never stop until it is over. I will do anything.

Especially for Hiccup. I would fly until after my wings were so weary I could feel the muscles and tendons screaming with the effort, and every rasping breath I took would feel like it was my last, my pounding heart ready to explode at any moment. If that's what he wanted, I would do it. If that's what it takes to keep him out of harm's way, then I will do it.

I'd die for him.

If he got lost or injured one way or another, I'd go to the ends of the earth to find him or the cure that he needed. There is no other entity in the universe that matters more to me than that small, puny, brilliant boy.

In a situation where most other humans would have chosen death, he chose life. And that's why I saved him from the inferno after the defeat of the Queen. I had to make that choice too, and I chose life.

We both chose life.

As we're flying through the sky right now, I can feel our inner flames connecting and surging upwards as they feed off one another, completely engulfing our souls and filling me with the utmost happiness and joy.

_What do you want to do today?_ I ask Hiccup, playfully diving down into the ice cold waters surrounding Berk as I do so.

Hiccup gives a yell each time he gets soaked, coughing and spluttering as he swallows mouthful after mouthful of icy sea water.

"Today? What do I want to do today? Well, I certainly didn't want to get soaked, that's for sure." His tone tells me that he's only being half serious.

But I would have known that he was joking anyway. I can get away with basically anything.

"I think I want to try some more tricks. But first… can I dry off?" he asks.

_Aw! Can't you just let the wind dry you off?_ I reply cheekily, once again dipping my wingtip into the waves and flicking some spray at his face.

"Toothless!" he scolds softly. I take no heed of this, instead sending a plasma blast out ahead. I can hear Hiccup's muffled oh, great as we near it.

_Well, you wanted to dry off_, I say as we exit the other side of the fireball. _And that's the fastest way I know to do it. Can we do tricks now?_ There's a hint of impatience creeping into my tone.

Above me, Hiccup is now fairly dry, but also a bit scorched. His previously green shirt is now slightly blackened in places, and his hair and eyebrows have a definite sense of singed. I can see his lopsided smile in the reflection from the water, and I laugh throatily.

_You look funny_, I chuckle. _I should do that more often_. At this point I am not, admittedly, concentrating particularly hard on our general direction, but neither of us notice nor care.

"Glad you think so. How am I meant to explain this to my father? 'Oh, Toothless was trying to be helpful?' Somehow I don't think that will be a good justification for this ruined shirt." His silly high voice he uses to make fun of himself is piercing, and I find it irritating.

I wish he could realise how he really brings himself down with all the sarcastic comments. I wish he could just show the same person he shows to me to everybody else around him.

**H**

"Okay, Toothless. Time to disappear," I say, pushing my foot down and urging him upwards towards the sun, reminiscent of the time we fought the Red Death. The bright light is blinding, but the light warms my face slightly. There aren't any clouds to conceal our ascent, but with the glare of the sun I figure that nobody will be able to see us anyway. If there was actually anyone around to see us, that is.

Right now, I don't really know where we are, other than a really, really, long way from Berk. This is the best place for us. Isolated and free from any civilization. The perfect getaway.

As we soar towards the stars we both let out a yell simultaneously. The wind is battering my torso, and I can barely see due to the sun overhead, but life can't get better than this.

Some people say that family are the most important things in the world. I disagree. Family members have to associate with you because they have no choice. You can't choose your relations.

But you can choose your friends. And the time I've spent with Toothless contains some of the most precious and valued memories I have. He's never given up on me, never given up trying to save me. I owe him my life many times over.

My care for him is everlasting and unconditional. There can be no greater friend to me, now or in the future, than him.

Without him, I would still be mocked and made fun of. Without him, I would still be the shame of my father and the humiliation of my tribe.

Without him, I would not be who I am now.

**T**

We're surging up, higher and higher. At last Hiccup gives the signal to level off, and as I do so, an incredible vista surrounds me. The cloudless sky is a brilliant blue, almost luminescent in its brightness. The sea is the deepest blue, mottled with greens and purples in an amazing mosaic of colour. Every now and then a tiny white splash on the surface of the waves tells me that Scauldrons are frolicking in the waters. Up ahead, where the sea meets the sky, an island has pushed its way up, just peeking above the horizon. With my sharp eyes, I can see the evergreen colouring of the vast forest that covers what I can see of the island.

Above me, I hear Hiccup gasp. _This is nothing. I've seen better than this_, I warble. At my words, Hiccup hits me gently on the side.

"Seriously? Well, then maybe you should show me," he says, a note of disbelief and challenge in his voice.

_If you don't believe me, fine. I'll show you one right now._

"You're on," Hiccup replies with a grin. I'm content to stay at this altitude and enjoy the view, but I adjust my course slightly so I can show him something even better, and flap my wings to gain some more speed.

The locations of every place I've visited are locked into my brain using a process I can't even begin to comprehend. In my mind, I see a sort of... sphere. And I don't even need to think about the directions to places- it's almost like I've got a muscle memory for each place, and I don't even need to consciously correct my course.

It doesn't get much better than this really.

Well, not until I get us to somewhere with a better view.

**H**

We've been flying for a fair while now. We had to dive down to the water to catch our lunch because we didn't expect to be staying out this long, but now we're back up in the solitary sky, the only beings in our own universe.

So many times I've wanted to be able to just capture the moment, take a picture and store it somewhere forever. Because memories can fade and become tarnished, paper can rot and be destroyed, and eventually I will die and take all that I know with me.

When I die, I want others to be able to share in my memories.

Forever.

I know that a lot of the memories I value most are shared with Toothless, because he is the most important thing in my life so far and I've shared so much with him. So many unforgettable memories.

I've got so many memories already, and I know there are years more to come.

But how many more years? How many more years do I have before I die? How many more years until I can't ride Toothless anymore? Life is so full of numbers, mostly insignificant, but I know that, as time goes by, the number that reveals how many summers I have lived through will become larger and more important, and more of an impediment to my life with Toothless. Because eventually my bones will be too frail, and my muscles too weak to ride, or to really do too much at all anymore. Unless I don't even make it to that point.

So many times I've considered what will happen if Toothless doesn't catch me when I fall. If he's not there when I'm in danger and I need help. What will happen if a bit of fun goes wrong. I've thought about how much Toothless protects me, and I never give him anything in return. I'm too puny to protect him from anything. I know he'd sacrifice himself for me, but if he did I would be lost without him, and my soul would most probably follow his fairly quickly into the afterlife. Because I don't think I could survive without him.

But... eventually, Toothless _is_ going to have to survive without me.

**T**

The sun is now starting its inevitable slide towards the horizon once again, signalling the end of another day. Our final destination is just coming into view now.

_Almost there_, I say to Hiccup, pushing forward to try and gain some extra speed and make it before nightfall. Hiccup eagerly begins to look around; trying to find this mysterious paradise I have promised him.

He won't see it from up here.

I live for the moments when I see Hiccup happy like this. Occupied with searching for my beautiful landscape, his keen eyes searching the skies for anything resembling an incredible view. I just want us to be like this forever. I dream about how we're both going to grow old together, how one day we'll just live on a remote island, the two of us and nature at peace with one another. We'll help each other to get through the day, finding enough food to survive, and lighting a fire every night to stave off the cold that would set in fast to our ageing bones.

I imagine Hiccup, his hands bony and his fingers gnarled and calloused, and I see his faltering steps as his legs, thinner than they are even now, support his weight. His prosthetic is old, rusting badly and in desperate need of repair. Every step he takes on it can be heard; a squeaking spring sees to that. He carries a staff, worn smooth with his hands and their constant grasp upon its surface. His once nut brown hair is now straggly and grey, and an unkempt beard sprouts from his chin. He has lost all care about his personal appearance. His clothes are loose and shapeless; what little definition he had during his prime has long since disappeared, but he has not bothered with new clothes. Maybe he thinks his life will be over so soon that it isn't worth the money.

But where we are in my dreams, money doesn't matter anymore. There aren't any societies, no people. No judgements, no pressure. We can just be who we want to be. And it won't matter that we can't fly any more, either. We can just take solace in the thought that we're still there for each other, and we made the most of the time we had together to make all the memories for us to look fondly back on now. And one day, when our times come for us to leave this world, we will part from it together, as equals, and go hand in hand into the white darkness that will become our home for the rest of eternity.

Together, past the end.

It's our destiny.

* * *

**A/N I will hopefully be writing more for this, but as to when... I have no idea.**


	2. Dreams

Night has fallen, just as we reach Toothless' promised paradise. He lands lightly on the spongy ground, and I, from long practice, slide smoothly off his back and stand to survey my surroundings.

We've landed in a small basin on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, but it's so lush and green. It's not like Berk, where the rough trees and hardy plants are dull and colourless. The grass is emerald green, healthy and spongy under my feet. The trees, far from being dull and rough, are full of colour and their leaves seem to sparkle in the moonlit sky. I can make out the occasional splash of delicate flowers, bursting their rainbows of colour all over the floor, and creating an incredible natural carpet softer than any I have felt before. At the centre of the basin is a lake. Its black depths contrast markedly with the soft ferns and vibrant colours of the surrounding foliage. It looks foreboding and deadly. The moon is reflected with perfect clarity on its mirror-like surface. Not a single fish or living creature has disturbed the peace of the pond.

And it seems that we are the only living creatures to be disturbing the peace of the air in this hidden paradise. I feel almost like I'm… an intruder here.

"Is this it?" I say to Toothless, secretly feeling rather impressed.

_Not quite, _he replies. _But you'll have to wait until dawn for the best part, _he says mysteriously. _You'll be even more impressed than you are now. _A knowing smile lights up his face, and I know that I'll never be able to get the better of him when he can read me like a book. I grin in reply, and start to make my way over to the shade of one of the giant trees that surround the area. The long branches of the tree hang down, almost like vines. The leaves are so thick and lush that it's almost like walking through a curtain to the inner sanctum of the tree. When I let go of the branches, and the curtain-like leaves fall back into formation, blocking out some of the moonlight, but letting an eerie blue-green glow light up the secret world within the branches of the tree in this paradise. I've never experienced anything like it before.

I thought that it was all about the view. What you can just see on the outside. But now I can see that I was wrong. It's all about what you can _feel._ What you can touch, and taste, and smell, and hear. What emotions the landscape makes you feel. I couldn't touch the sky earlier, but I can touch this scene now, and it makes me feel like I'm a part of something bigger, something more beautiful and wonderful than I can imagine.

My world, I realise, is much bigger than just the isle of Berk. Now I've got Toothless, who will fly with me for the rest of time, we can explore and go wherever we want to go. Do what we want to do. We'll be the lawless outcasts, travelling and discovering at every new dawn, leaving others behind because we don't need anybody else in our lives. Free from rules, from traditions set down by our forebears. Alone in this world… yet together, and whole.

As much as I love my father, and my tribe, and my village, I love Toothless more. He's not just a bottomless pit, where I can throw in all the emotions and care I want and then they never gets seen again. He takes it in, tries to help, is _always _there for me, even when nobody else has the courage to do that. He'll stop me from doing something stupid, he's a good enough friend to me to be able to tell me when I've made a mistake; he doesn't hide anything from me.

So I try not to hide anything from him, either. When I'm with Toothless, I can finally shed my exterior bubble that protects me in society, keeping me distant enough that nobody can touch me, and be who I really am. In the company of somebody that I know will accept me for who I am, all the time. Toothless can take the good with the bad.

I love the unique bond we share, because I am happy in the knowledge that nobody else has what I do. It's something special to me alone, something that I alone can possess and describe. The first part of my life that I've truly been a part of, and not in a bad way. I've been included, looked up to for advice, I've even given something back. It's so strong, it's almost like a tangible, touchable entity that exists between us. And sometimes, like now, I feel like I _can _touch it.

I close my eyes and let my other senses drink in the splendour of this magical place. In my mind's eye, I see Toothless, with a pearlescent aura around him; it's our friendship, shielding him and protecting him; giving him life and boosting his inner flame. I reach out with my hand, see through and covered in an intense rainbow of colour, and touch the pearly mist surrounding the dark form. Instantly I feel a surge of power and heat, and I realise that this is what Toothless feels. He can feel the power in his muscles, the heat of his deadly flame, omnipresent and awesome. I bask in his glory for a moment, enjoying the feeling of joy and majesty surging through my veins and infusing my blood with a fiery passion. Even though I know this is all in my head, I'm imagining it all, it feels so _real _that I'm completely fooled. Until I open my eyes.

To find Toothless standing there, his warm snout under my outstretched hand. And I know that everything I thought I imagined really happened. It was Toothless, creating those images in my mind, showing me his power and letting me glimpse what his true nature was. It was the ultimate display of trust and honesty. When you allow someone to see that deep into you, there is no way for your true self to hide behind anything. There's no superficial barrier protecting your true feelings. It's just you, the truth, and whoever you want to let into that sacred chamber. I feel so privileged that he allowed me there.

Toothless opens his eyes as well, and when they meet mine, I see a new light in them. That experience has opened up another door into his self. And I can see it, from the outside. Slowly, the barriers are breaking down between us, the walls that once separated our souls crumbling away so we can be truly together. Eventually, there will be nothing separating us. We will be one. The line between man and beast, between dragon and human, forever blurred and indistinct. Nobody will know where one of us begins and the other ends; our souls will be so deeply interconnected that we will seem to the outside world like a single being, formed of two minds, but both minds thinking alike.

_You should sleep. I'll wake you up when it's time for your big surprise,_ Toothless says, but I shake my head vehemently.

"No. I want to stay up. All night. This place… I might never get to see anything like this again, and I want to enjoy it while I can." I want to explore, and discover, and catalogue all that I can before we have to leave.

_Well, why don't we stay here awhile then? _he suggests, tilting his head to one side.

"Um… well, it _is _my birthday. My father will be expecting me back. He's probably going mad about my absence." This is all true, but as I say these words I see how I really don't have the same conviction that I thought I would have whilst saying them. I realise I don't have the same amount of care for my father that I did half an hour ago. And I'd much rather spend my birthday here, with Toothless, even if I didn't get any big celebrations or gifts. Because Toothless is a present enough.

_Consider this my birthday gift to you, then, _he says, turning around and pushing through the leaves again with a small rustling noise, causing the moonlight to stream in where the branches aren't in their normal position; the place where he once stood is now lit white, his black shape casting a shadow on the ground. It looks beautiful and fearsome. Then the branches fall back into place, and the moment is lost.

I follow him out, blinking slightly as the moon is much brighter out of the shade of the long branches. Toothless' scales no longer appear black; they are a fiery spectrum of colour- deep purples, raging reds, iridescent indigos. He turns his eyes to me, another colour adding to the already rich rainbow. When he meets my eyes, so similar in colour to his, he gives me a Toothless grin and I grin right back.

I don't want to let this moment go. I just want time to freeze, stuck on this night, this island, just Toothless and I. I want this to be the memory I think of as I die. The memory of a time when I was never happier, with my greatest friend in the world and the cool midnight air wrapping us in a blanket of peace and serenity.

_Hold that thought, _Toothless interrupts. _You might want to think it again in a few hours' time._ His mysterious words intrigue me.

I want to stay up all night and explore this wonderful place, but suddenly a great tiredness washes over me, and I realise that I will only be able to appreciate its true beauty when I am fully awake and alert.

_Sleep, _Toothless says kindly. _I'll wake you up when it's time. _

I make my way back into the haven created by the strange tree, and lie down underneath its boughs. No sooner have I closed my eyes than I am enveloped in the dream world.

**T**

After Hiccup disappears, I look up at the moon and the stars. Every night they are born, and every morning they die. They don't try to fight their fate; they just accept it and repeat the cycle for many days and many nights.

Indeed, life is like a doomed man heading along a river towards a fatal waterfall. He can choose to just let the current carry him over peacefully into death, go willingly into the arms of the gods, or he can paddle with the current and help Death's plight. But… there is another option. He can choose to fight the current, stroke against it with everything he's got, cling onto life for as long as he can. And at the end, he'll be scrabbling for any purchase on the few rocks as his legs dangle out above the precipice, trying to suck every last moment out of the time he has been given.

I like to think that I will fight for all the time I have. It's the only way I can survive, really. I used to fight to get food for the Queen, I fought for my life before I realised Hiccup would never hurt me, and I fought for _his_ life when he tumbled from my back into the fiery inferno. But I also want to allow Death to take me peacefully when the time comes. I will fight it for as long as I can, but when I know it is my time, I will allow him to take me without any resistance. I don't want to have my last moments in this world spent fighting an enemy I know I can never triumph against.

I may be the ruler of the Night, but I do not go gently into the morning like the moon and stars. I may be the offspring of Death itself, but one day he will have to take me himself, his own son.

And I hope that, for each step of the journey up until then, Hiccup will be taking every one with me.

The thought of Hiccup drags my legs unconsciously towards him. As I pass through the branches, he shifts slightly when the light hits his face, and I quickly move in to block out the moonlight. I don't want to disturb his sleep. His peace.

Hiccup's eyes are closed, but I can see them darting from left to right beneath the lids. He starts shifting more and more, occasionally letting out a low moan. The peace that he had only a few moments ago has already dissipated, in its place a cruel nightmare.

I can't bear to see him dream badly like this. I move closer to him, wrapping my wings around him in a shield. I summon all my inner flame and mental strength, and then place my paw gently on his shoulder.

Instantly I see a ferocious fire blazing all around me. I am not fazed, since my hide is impervious to fire, but soon a humanlike form can be made out amidst the fiery heat. I realise that this is Hiccup, and this world is his nightmare. I feel a rush of emotions as I surge towards him, grabbing him firmly in my paws and, with a deft flap of my wings, lift him up and away from the inferno. Here, I don't need Hiccup's help to allow me to fly. My dream self is whole, and even more powerful than my real self.

Hiccup starts screaming and scrabbling at my legs, trying to make me let go. His dream self doesn't realise that it's me, and I'm trying to help him. He's so wrapped up in his nightmare he thinks I am a nefarious being also, here to take him to a place worse than the one before. I keep ascending until we are high over the flames, so high that the heat from the fire cannot be felt. The flames themselves are little more than small smudges of orange and red at this altitude. Hiccup still beats at my legs, scratching and clawing with all his strength.

_Hiccup, _I command. _Stop it. I'm trying to help. Trying to get you out of this nightmare_.

At my words, Hiccup freezes in place and for the first time begins to comprehend what has grabbed him and taken him away from his bad dream. I can feel the world relaxing, filled less with fire and raging nightmares and more with calm thoughts and peaceful landscapes. Below us, the fire suddenly gets whisked into nothing, the ground below it becoming full and green as grass sprouts from the site of the inferno. All around me, colour is bleeding back into the sky, creating a kaleidoscope of shapes and shades.

_Toothless? Is that really you? _Hiccup's questions are not spoken aloud, but I hear them in my mind with crystal clarity.

_Yes, _I reply.

_How… why… what… _Hiccup stumbles over his words as he tries to form a coherent question.

_I saw you were having a bad dream. On the outside. So I came in here and saved you from it. _I dive back down towards the ground, which reaches my feet way quicker than I thought it would. But I guess in the dream world, anything is possible. I drop Hiccup gently onto the fresh grass, and he looks up at my impressive figure.

_How did you get in here? _Hiccup asks, his face a frown of confusion.

_The bond we share is not like any other between dragon and human. We have absolute trust in each other, and that means that I can do some things I have not been able to for a long time. I cannot remember a time when I last used these powers; maybe I have not ever used them, but somewhere in my subconscious I knew they were there and that it was the right time to use them. That you were the right person to use them with. _

With these words, Hiccup bounds up towards me, his body little more than a blur of green and brown, and ensconces me in the biggest hug I have ever received from him.

_Thanks, bud, _he says. _This is the best thing you've ever done. _I frown in confusion. Surely many things I have done are better than this? I voice my thoughts to Hiccup, because in this dream world he cannot read them as easily as he can usually.

_But… surely this can't be the best thing I've ever done for you? What about the time I saved you from the fire after the Queen was slain? Or when I saved you from that Nightmare in the arena? Or-_

_Toothless. _Hiccup's forceful word and soft hand on my snout stop my running thoughts instantly. _Those things _were _great things. But they were all in the mortal world. You saved my life because I was a good friend to you. _At this, I try and interrupt, but a sharp look from Hiccup silences me. _But you just dove into a dream, the content of which you had no knowledge of, selflessly, to try and save a great friend. To save a great friend from some bad thoughts. Not death, or permanent injury, but just a few bad thoughts. _That _is why this is the greatest thing you have ever done for me. _

* * *

**A/N I hope you enjoyed the next instalment! As always, please tell me what you think, and hopefully I should be updating (something) soon.**


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